My Savior
by Smutty-puppy
Summary: This is just a one shot, if you can even call it that. I was just feeling depressed, and after rewatching The Blaze of Glory today, decided to just come onto my computer and let rip a violent ramble. This is what came out, it sucks, it's not my best writi


**Title:** My Saviour  
**Author:** Amie aka SmuttyPuppy  
**Disclaimer:** I own nothing but my sometimes twisted and always perverted imagination. And a whole lot of CD's that are my inspiration.  
**Rating:** NC-17  
**Warning:** Violence, cussing, character death, intentions of rape.  
**Summary:** This is just a one shot, if you can even call it that. I was just feeling depressed, and after re-watching "The Blaze of Glory" today, decided to just come onto my computer and let rip a violent ramble. This is what came out, it sucks, it's not my best writing, it hasn't been beta'd, spell checked or even re-read, I just spewed forth so.. it's basically just 8 pages of complete and utter shit. ENJOY! lol.. This is what could of happened after Alex leaves Marissa on the beach, had she been the insane, jealous, controlling girlfriend that I feel the OC kinda portrayed. I apologise in advance. Please leave your honest opinions and you may flame me all you want. mwah

**My Savior**

He'd done it.

He had successfully completed the one task that I prayed he never could.

The little shit had won.

He had managed to steal, the one thing that had ever truly meant anything to me.

The one thing I loved.

Marissa Cooper.

They say, "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with".

But what if you are so afraid of losing that something, that all you can do is grip it with a clenched fist? Because you know, that if you do release your hold, the risk of your heart getting broken rises. And even though you put up these walls, these, emotional boundaries, you are nothing but a vulnerable little girl asking for the love of someone that is incapable of providing.

She was supposed to be mine forever. I could of gave her what she wanted, what she needed, but no. That fucking asshole stole her away from me.

He didn't even need to try, I set my love free. I installed my trust in Marissa, and waited with baited breath for her to come back to me.

And what happens?

She ran straight back into the arms of Ryan. Her soul mate, her destiny, her "meant to be".

What a load of shit.

And what's left?

Me.

Only me, I'm alone. Again.

Everyone always fucking leaves.

Everything that happened at the bonfire, was such an emotional strain on my already bleeding soul. Over the days that had past, I felt, and saw the love of my young life slipping away from me. Slipping back to the boy of her dreams.

What about my dreams?

Did they mean shit to her?

All I asked for was to be a part of her life. I'd told her that before and I told her again at the pep rally. She assumed that because my respect for school spirit was nearly non-existent, that I would not be interested in anything that happened outside my apartment.

Our Apartment. Our home.

Damn her and her fucking assumptions!

Everything I said to her at the beach was true, for once in my meaningless life I had opened up enough to make my feelings known.

It was a test.

I wanted to see how she would react, what she would say.

I wanted her to take me in her arms, comfort me and whisper that everything would be alright.

That my fears weren't true.

But she couldn't do that, because that would be lying.

But she was a freakin' good liar.

Anyways, she didn't comfort me, she did however embrace me for a brief moment.

And in that moment, I felt hollow. Like the life was being slowly drained from my body, and I couldn't do anything to stop it. All I could do was hold on.

I was breaking.

I pulled away from her, knowing that if I didn't leave right then, that I would never let her go.

I changed my demeanour, cracked some lame line and walked away. Not even seeing my two friends follow me. They should of stayed.

I should of told them to stay, to beat Ryan to the bloody pulp that I now envisioned him as.

So when I left my heart at the beach, I walked solemnly to my jeep and started the engine.  
Tears began to fall as I manoeuvred out of the parking lot, but I just ignored them and drove.

I had no idea where I was going. Hell, I wouldn't of given a shit if I'd accidentally driven off a fucking cliff.

I wanted to die.

I ended up at the Bait Shop, all I wanted to do was hide from the world. To escape myself.

I used my key to open the door to the closed club, and straight away I went to the bar, grabbing two full bottles of Jack Daniels.

Leaving once more, I drove to the Cohen Residence.

Parking my jeep in the shadows just inside the driveway, I opened one bottle of Jack, pouring the liquid hungrily down my throat.

It burned, but I wanted it to scorch my insides until I could take no more.

---------------------

Two and a half hours later, I was going crazy.

Where the hell were they?

Probably off fucking somewhere.

Just as I took the last swig from the now empty second bottle of Jack, I could just barely see lights coming up the driveway.

As they came closer I could see that it was in fact, Ryan's range rover.

I drunkenly let out a giggle.

The prick is gonna get what's coming to him.

Watching in jealousy as Ryan took Marissa's hand, leading her to the pool house, I reached backwards behind my seat.

Stopping to stare for a second at the back seat, where I have had my lover pinned beneath me so many times before.

My eyes glaze over as I reminisce about all the occasions that my fingers were moving deep inside her dripping wet centre, while she moaned out her love for me. Or when I would lean the front seat back, and stare down into my lap, watching as the brunette hair tickled my thighs as Marissa's head moved between my legs.

He can't have her!

My gaze snapped back into focus, and I quickly reached under the seat and removed a pole.

Bastard.

I stumbled out of the car, leaving the door open, as I began my journey forward.

It was only a few yards, but it felt like miles, as my stomach grew sick from the laughter I could hear from inside.

I was seething.

Biting back my tears, I threw the door open to find Ryan and my lover sitting close together at the foot of his bed. Playing video games.

"Alex?" She asked, quickly standing up.

Her face was painted with dreary confusion. Obviously she had been crying, for what I didn't care.

I stalked towards Ryan who was still sitting down, he looked up at me, warning me with his eyes.

"I told you to stay away from her" I spat out, my head whipping around to face Marissa as I finished my sentence.

Her eyes were wide with horror, and when I followed her line of sight I realised she was staring at the metal bar I was gripping.

Ryan laughed, and began to get up.

I gritted my teeth and I felt my eyes flash with the anger that I felt within.

With jaw clenched I raised my weapon above my head and brought it down upon Ryan.

It hit him in his right shoulder and knocked him to the ground.

I heard Marissa screaming, begging me to stop.

I hit him again, this time on his back.

Suddenly there was feeble hands, pulling me backwards. I turned and saw my lover, tears running down her cheeks.

Quickly I grabbed the back of her head, relishing the feel of her silky hair between my fingers. Bringing our lips together, I kissed her fiercely, letting all my pain and sorrow come through.

For a second I swore she kissed me back.

Ryan pulled at my leg, and I spun and kicked his face.

"Stay down shit head!" I boomed, my voice even surprising myself.

I was out of control, and I fucking loved it.

Glancing back at Marissa I mumbled "I'm going to do this because I love you".

Her eyes widened, and she scampered away from me as I brought my attention back to the writhing boy on the floor.

I smiled lazily at him.

"Your worthless".

I brought my bar down on him again, connecting with the top of his head.

"You don't deserve her", I yelled, hitting him again.

Marissa's pleas were ignored, as I kept pounding him with my bar, each time hitting him harder.

Suddenly there was a loud bang, and for a second I thought there was a storm.

Until I felt the searing pain not only in my heart, but also my leg.

I looked down at Ryan's motionless body, following the trail of blood that was coming from his head.

He was dead.

I had killed the son of a bitch.  
But why was I in pain, I knelt down, examining my leg, only to find that I was also bleeding.

Turning my blood splattered face sideways, the sight before me took my breath away.

Marissa was standing weakly, her hair a mess, face covered in moist tears, pointing a gun shakily in my direction.

"I love him", she whispered.

I froze for a second, smiling slightly.

I stood carefully, and feeling my heartbreak all over again, started to smack at what was left of Ryan Atwood's head.

I could hear the blood sticking to my pole, and the crunching of breaking bones, it was fucking amazing.

There was a rough tug at my shoulder again as I started to laugh uncontrollably, the alcohol still in my system,

Not thinking, I turned and swung my weapon back over my shoulder, connecting with the side of my whores face.

Marissa fell backwards, the gun she had been holding falling freely to the ground.

I picked it up quickly and then looked at my other half.

She was sobbing now, watching my every move shocked.

I'd never wanted her so much.

I knelt in front of her, ignoring the pain and pointing the gun at her head.

"I love you", I mumbled, sliding my spare hand to her shirt.

"Tell me you love me too" I begged, as I trailed my hand lower to her skirt.

She remained silent, shaking slightly as I touched her.

"TELL ME!" I commanded.

"No".

"Please".  
Once again silence, I entered her panties and kissed her hard.

As I tried to enter her mouth with my tongue she bit harshly into my lip.

I reared back in pain and before I knew what was happening a second bang rang out.

Quickly I looked up, to see what had happened.

My eyes locked with Marissa's, and we held a tender stare.

For what seemed like years, she just watched me.

Then she fell back, slumping to the floor.

I was drowning in terror as I rushed to her side, cradling her head gently in my bloody hands.

I watched, unable to do anything as blood started seeping through her shirt, coming from her chest.

Tears burst from my eyes, as my gaze became fixated with her mouth.

It was moving, she wanted to say something to me.

"ssssssssssh" I told her, "I'm so sorry".

I hugged her to me, once again I was gripping the thing I loved for dear life, only this time I wouldn't let her go.

Never.

"I love you", I whispered into her hair, it was the most sincere declaration I had ever made.

"I.. I.. Uh.. I" she choked. I pulled her face from my shoulder, giving her room to speak.

"It's ok baby, just say it". I encouraged her, eagerly awaiting her next statement.

"I... Hate you Alex". With that her normally beautiful vibrant eyes rolled back into her head, and her body lie limp in my arms.

She was gone.

I had lost her, twice.

I let my eyes roam over the girl that I so desperately loved.

The girl I had killed.

Not only her spirits, her happiness, her true lover, but I killed her soul.

I destroyed her.

I destroyed the one thing that I had ever loved.

My face contorted in pain as I lay Marissa down softly on the ground.

She was beautiful, even in her eternal sleep she was breathtaking.

I looked at Ryan, I couldn't believe what I'd done.

Instantly sobering I cried my heartbreak over my lovers body.

I knew what I had to do.

I needed to be with her once again, I had to make things right.

Pulling at Marissa's lifeless arms, I pulled her into a sitting position. Then I leant the two of us against Ryan's bed.

Wrapping one of my arms around her waist, I placed a chaste kiss on her drying lips.

"I love you Marissa Cooper, with all my heart. I'm coming for you".

And with my last statement, I closed my eyes and pulled the trigger of my saviour.

Praying, that even death could not take her from me.

THE END.


End file.
